Expansion and Contraction.............Re-entry Musings...............

I began this blog to chart a journey into the unknown..............thinking it might be exciting for my Friends and their Friends and Fellow Travelers and Artists, Seekers and future 'Jumpers off Cliffs' to see what the other side of the world would look like.......

An ending into a beginning, I thought.............for me.

And when I arrived back to where my 'stuff' lives, after more than two months away, I was not sure if I would continue.  With the blog, that is...........oooooh, a slip to the dark side so quickly!

I have been encouraged to continue with this blog journal to tell the 'rest of the story'........to chronicle what happens as one walks off the cliff.  I have a friend who took a similar journey and said the road home is very long.  She is an artist..........and what she will make will reflect her soul's reaction to her experience.  And she is also 'expected' to make art.  No pressure there!

I have to say that many times on my recent journey, I felt as though this would be my last one. That there was no 'beginning' beyond that. I had no perception of what was to come as I arrived back where I began.  I had a sense of nothing to come home to.  And what was Home? And who was I to BE?

I had said 'Good-Bye' to an old way of living........being attached to an old and beautiful house, that I spent many hours caring for and loving..........and 'Good-Bye' to an old relationship that I did not.  One that did not speak our truths. Perhaps one that served it's purpose in the beginning and now is not relevant. But one I am eternally grateful for experiencing.

So after a few weeks of settling back in.........a few weeks of 'quiet' and being kind to mySelf before the storm of holidays, birthdays and friends wanting to hear about my adventures descends fully upon me..............I am trying to gauge where I am.  Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually.  I am a bit 'skittish' about re-entry to what feels like an 'old' life.  A past life.  I have learned from traveling alone that I am responsible for my own safety.  And part of that is protecting mySelf from energies that are not good for my Soul.

It is Winter here.  It is Cold and Dark and I am faced with nesting in a place, a very nice place that is near to where I was.   Geographically and in life.  Having just moved before I left, I'm going a bit in circles.  Should I decorate for the Holidays?  Reconnect with old Friends?  Celebrate my Birthday.........? And what will I do?  What will I make?  Where will I go next?  How will I answer the question, "What do you Do?'  And really, "Where IS that extension cord !?", and why is there water on my basement floor?

So I observe myself slipping back into the grind of 'performance'......... the pressure of 'doing' and 'making', and considering 'Shoulds' instead of just 'Being'.  Which is what I've been for the last several months.  Being.

This trip has changed me.  Arriving home is filled with contrasts to what I've just experienced............

And it's not at all one bit bad........really............I am blessed beyond measure in every way possible........Good Health, Beautiful Home, Wonderful Family and Friends.................all manifested by me.........

But how can it be, well, OK, this sounds greedy.....but BETTER....!?

Just before I left, I worked briefly with a Life Coach,  Vicky White, who left me with this little 'tool'.......

It is called Nature's Guidance System.............Expansion and Contraction

She had me list all the words I might substitute for Expansion.......like Receiving, Joy, Happy, Large, Buoyant, Loving, Loved.........filled with Breath.......

And then list all the words I might substitute for Contraction......like Small, Constricted, Tight, Smothered, Fear, Unhappy, Irritated, Depressed ..........(clearly I have more experience with Contraction)

The tool is, or the Guidance is..............You MUST feel good about what you are doing, or stop doing it.

Simple as that.

So that is where I am today...........monotoring...........tuning in............somewhere in the middle..........a little too much leaning toward Contraction........

And having experienced it..........I can say for sure...........

Expansion is a better path to follow..........