Wednesday, June 29, 2011

So simple..........

Today.........Louie........


and I ....






















worked 16 hours to move my 'stuff' into storage.......what was I thinking a short month ago when I thought out loud "I'll just put my 'stuff' into storage and take a 'gap' year?.....really......poor Louie.........I originally figured it would take two days to do this.......and coached by my son......."MOM.......how could it take two days?.......a little condo and your studio......come on........"

So it's almost 3 in the morning........on this day.........OH.....no......the 'next' day.........and instead of turning in the truck...........sweeping it out, filling it up with petrol and all that.........and heading to the comfort of my son's house, waking up to my triplet grand girls..........

I have decided to 'simplify'.....(or crash)......and sleep in the place I have paid to reside in.......on the floor.......with a piece of foam.........and my sleeping bag...........I'll turn in the truck tomorrow........and take a run out to 'their' house in the morning..........after doing all that.....

And I am left wondering ........about wild fires.......my destination........and all the personal business I need to attend to before I take off on my most terrible adventure...........

and also.......

why the Hell do I have so much stuff?

It sickened me tonight........

I actually had a funny and/or magical story or two to tell about today.......but really......at the end of it.....I am sickened by my 'stuff'.......which after being wittness to loading it into the storage unit...... is like working a 3 dimentional jigsaw puzzle.......executed by a patient and amazingly hard working guy like Louie........

I also vow.....

never to return....

to........
















This place
(my old studio filled vibes I could never clear)..........


It hurts my heart just to look at it here......…..
(and still wondering why I stayed there so long, or more important, how I landed there in the first place?)

Monday, June 27, 2011

Update on Moving.............

This is a general "Hi All!" and THANK YOU! for healing prayers for these past few weeks..........

An 'update' on my hand injury.........Upon my last visit to my hand specialist she declared my hand was "not broken" yet was not out of the woods in terms of seriouis injury.......there is still a concern for tendon damage......and I was advised to see a specialist on the other end of my move should I still have pain.....

The good news is it seems to feel better with each day.  I am still wearing a brace and have enlisted packing help to make this ominous task a little less strenuous.........

Although I have not been able to avert the emotions that come from packing up my life and moving onto the next phase........There are no words to describe how this feels.........and the beginning of this week sees me facing the reality of my decision to change things up a 'bit'.........

Today my ace 'packer pal' Pam comes, with possible back up from her pal Sandra.........our adgenda will be to finish up the packing of my townhouse........my bed and bedding.......and all the piles of 'flotsam' that remain.......the stuff that floats around my house constantly......papers, receipts......books.....odds and ends that don't want to go into boxes or the waste basket until the very end..........

Then after that hopefully 'we' and not just 'I' will head to my studio to do the same there and meet the gal who is buying the last of my large flat files...........

Tomorrow I pick up a 14' truck from U Haul in the morning, the kind with a ramp.......and meet my movers here.  They will load 'er up and take the contents of my dwelling to the storage unit first........and then head to my studio to load up the boxes that are there...........my goal is to fit all of it snugly into the 10' X 15' indoor storage unit.........fingers crossed please...........I am entertaining all of the glitches that might occur.......

One glitch I did not anticipate was tossing my favorite rain jacked onto an iron I forgot to unplug in my messy studio on Saturday..........ruining both the tiny antique iron (I had used to iron some silk.....just 'cuz) and my 'perfect shade of rosy lavendar pink' Marmot jacket...........another lesson in mindfulness.....and the good news is, as my sister pointed out.........I did not burn down the building.

I guess it is simply impossible to stay focused with such a task at hand.......

For the rest of the week.......certain and hopeful I will complete this moving into storage task on Tuesday........I hope to run out to sqeeze some family after that.........then spend Wednesday night with friends who have offered a bed.......and run around on Thursday finishing up all the loose ends in town........On Friday I plan to turn Shirley (my car.......my temple) to the West........

Until then........I remain......

Overwhelmed..........

Friday, June 24, 2011

Calm...........

A little calm and centering is in order today.....as everyday........

This week I was blessed to be invited to attend a Summer Solstice Ceremony.  Thank you Mary Ellen for facilitating Elaine for hosting, and the Universe for providing the perfect evening for this sacred event........

I am left with the resonance of hearing these words read from The 13 Original Clan Mothers by Jamie Sams.....

'Becomes Her Vision, the Thirteenth Clan Mother,
speaks to every Child of Earth and......
softly whispers........
These words that the Great Mystery put inside the
Eternal Flame of Love..............


"You ARE, the moment you decide to BE.....


You ARE,  the moment you decide to BE.....


You ARE, the moment you decide to BE."

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Rebirth, renewal........







"The spiritual journey is a creative journey. It's about birth. It calls us past the boundaries of convention. It tests our willingness to see life in a new way and our courage to express it: for new ways of viewing life in the face of what is commonly accepted. We become new, and in this ongoing birthing, we bring new forms to life as well. Life itself has become a creative act, full of vitality and richness and passion." --- Anne Hillman, from Dancing Animal Woman




I was so moved by Donna Watson's blog post.....titled 'Renewal'.....which you can find here......
because........ 
this quote from that beautiful post......

seems a validation of my journey......

Saturday, June 18, 2011

When you want to be an artist........







Her words, sent to me by her mother about 16 years ago.....when I was taking my Self way too 

seriously.......

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Little glitch(es).......

Today I went to the Hand Specialist.........still no verdict.......hand back in splint with orders not to "lift anything"........right.   CT scan ordered for Friday........Verdict on Tuesday next.........

And..........when I called my ACE packing assistant........she informed me that she too, is.......

Injured.

She hurt herself while working out and is in so much pain she could not think.........in addition to that....last night when she drew a hot bath for her pain........her well pump gave out............



So what to do?  What to do?............
















I appreciate all well wishes and prayers.....and healing energy sent our way.........


Envision my right hand and wrist happy, healthy, flexible and strong..............and my assistant Pam healed and healthy.........and my pack up 'easy peasy'.................

Thank you all in advance!



It's hard to stab at the keyboard with one finger.....
















........this may be my last post for awhile....

Monday, June 13, 2011

Back to boxes..........

Today is the first serious day of packing.......I hired help for the day.  We started in my basement......and began to separate........

Take, Store, Salvation Army.....oh and a little pile for my son and his family...........and I gave them a call just in case they had time to come gather it........and they did........which made the pile for Salvation Army smaller..........and also the storage pile smaller.......and my townhouse lighter of furniture.......

I followed up with a trip to my storage unit.......and now will fill my car with things to take to the studio....and things to take to Salvation Army.........and then go to my meditation group gathering.........

and it will be the end of day one.

Good news.......on Saturday, after praying and calling in my healing friends......a doctor called, mind you this was late on Saturday evening.......... he said the radiologist read my fims and found NO FRACTURE.......NO fracture.........so I ripped off my splint........so happy........

But I'll see the specialist tomorrow just for good measure......as my wrist and hand are still tender and in a brace.......

So yeah.......onward and upward.........I am careful to monitor how I'm doing with this moving thing......because in the past few days I'm in a state of disbelief at what I have started........sorry.....wish I had time for pics........

Friday, June 10, 2011

Accident Update......

OOOps..................today I thought it would be good measure to have my hand x-rayed..........at the advice of Martha, a nurse (and extremely talented artist), who wittnessed my pirouette accross the room the other day.............

Turns out Dr. Collins thinks I might have done something to a small bone deep in my hand called the scaphoid.........

I have an appointment with a hand specialist on Tuesday....and my packing help arrives on Monday.

Instead of a brace.......My forearm is now in a splint........that can not be removed until the doctor sees it.

Never a dull moment.

OH, and I figured out why I was so confused while pulling (what I thought was) Sterling Silver wire.  It was NOT Sterling..........it was Nickel Silver..........Much harder wire.........I had not marked it as such and and assumed it was Sterling..........because it was in the same place I keep all the wire and I forgot I put it there..........and I thought to mark it.......and didn't..........

Yet another lesson in mindfulness....

The Good News?.........it seems the townhouse I'm renting has a taker..........and I won't need to be available to show it any more!

This move is really going to happen, isn't it?  I don't think it will hit me until I close the door on my storage unit.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Mind-full-ness......ouch!

As I have been navigating uncharted waters......I have been looking for signs (as in "please God")........

Last week as I was securing a storage space for my move I noticed a young woman with a wrist brace on.........I thought out loud........"that is the last thing you need to happen during a move".....and she replied that it wasn't bad, but thought to brace it 'just in case'...........and I made note.

What I thought was........the last thing I need is to get hurt during my move.  So in my speech and actions, I have been very careful.  Noting to hire packing help.......and moving help......and the words came out of my mouth yesterday when talking to my son about moving some furniture......."I am being very careful.....and do not want anyone to be hurt in this move..."and he agreed.  I knew for certain I was not going to be lifting any heavy things.......


And then my thoughts went to an acquaintance of mine (an artist) who made the decision to 'pack it all up' and leave for another adventure.........the last time I saw her......just before her move.....she was in a wheel chair......she had severely hurt her ankle.....I don't know the details..........but I became acutely aware.........of this phenomena......of getting hurt during a big 'move'..........so this was not going to happen to me......because.........


I am MINDFUL..........


I even take Mindfulness Yoga classes......every Tuesday.......to complement the other Yoga classes I take totaling three a week.......knowing I am in tip top shape doing that.......but uh.......I have not been making my Sunday classes for one reason or another.........and have noted to mySelf.......Tuesday 'mindfulness' classes have waned.......packing the studio has taken precedence.........at some point I told my Self I need to make my move a priority or it will not get done.........and then I let my Thursday night class slip for the same reason........and then I noticed I missed a really important Enneagram gathering.........how could THAT happen?.....it was so important!   And I meditate!.....or I have a cushion....and go to a Sangha once a month........and.......that practice has waned as well......


And then........I went to Toronto.....and was knocked off kilter a bit.......and well, other stuff happened.......and now my landlord wants to show my townhouse for future tennants and it has to look 'presentable' does it not?..........and I rushed to my enameling studio class today after doing just that.......with a bulwark of work to do since today was the last chance to work..........and...


Then I worked.......with classmates......wishing me good travels and talk talk talk......as I kept my nose to the grindstone, working working working......not thinking .....just staying with the flow..........trying to ignore all the stories swirling around me as happens when many smart gals get together............


And then I noticed out of the corner of my eye, across the room, my friend Janice began to struggle with a process I know so well......and I went to help her.  It is a process of reducing the diameter of silver wire......for our purpose, to make 'springy' ear wires for earrings........and imagine, Janice is in a sling from shoulder surgery......quite a sight.........


So I went over and swiftly solved her dilemma.......it was magic...........and I was for some reason, still aware of her struggle.......


I'm coming to the end of the story.......so bear with me........


As I noted my friend was reducing wire....... I realized that was 'my' next task........that HAD to be done today......as I am HOT on making these earrings.......I digress......


So I finally got to the task........15 minutes before the end of our class time.........sterling silver wire in hand.....with the confidence of a bull fighter.........I began to file a point on the wire.......and noticed a struggle there....hmmmm.....I am so good at this........focus focus.........and then finally the wire fit in the first hole of the draw plate.......and with the heavy snub nosed pliers designed specifically for this purpose..... I grabbed ahold of the tiny chiselled point.........remembering the words I spoke to my friends as they struggled......."You control 'IT'.....in this case the wire.......'IT' does not control you.........."


So as I pulled.........probably two feet of wire......which reduces to four feet of wire.........I exclaimed....."OH, I usually only pull 'one' foot at a time"............and as I was on my second pass.....my pull.........became the equivalent of winning a "tug of war" match........A COMPLETE SUPRISE  to me......and within a second..........the long silver wire released it's hold from the plate........and sent me careening across the room........to fall to the floor in a crumble........with my body and right wrist wedged against the massive wooden leg of a long workbench..........Ouch........I'm lucky I didn't hit my head!!!


"I'M OK, I'M OK!......REALLY I'M OK!" I whimpered to the astonished crowd that gathered about me..................(as I nursed my bruised wrist.....still holding the heavy pliers and silver wire............Trying to erase what had just happened........)


The morel of the story.....?   Pay attention.  Don't rush.........Be mindful......... and be kind to yourSelf when dumb stuff happens.

Accident report........

I have iced and supported my wrist......noting every nuance of pain.....and taken suitable meds. I think it is just seriously bruised.........

I'm feeling very humbled.  I love my wrist and the service it provides me............and I'm wearing a wrist brace 'just in case'......

Sunday, June 5, 2011

You can't go home..........

I had 'family business' to take care of and

drove to Toronto for a few days this past week...........

and I was so taken by how..........



BLUE!!!!!!


The sky was.........






not to mention the air fresh...........why I was surprised?......
I don't know....

But I was very taken........by this city I lived in for almost 5 years......



and things seemed so very right for me to be there......I knew my way around......I felt very solid........and safe........

and visited with my very special friend.........



Wendy Golden-Levitt............

Wendy has been my dear friend for so long now........and I was so very honored to see what she has been doing in my absence from the 'neighborhood'.......with small gifts from fiber artists known so well by many of you........with names like Jude, Velma, India, Glennis, Jane and Karen........not to mention Wendy's work with Hand/Eye.......

Being with her in her studio is like visiting a Sanctuary.....or in the new language I must be learning......Santuario.......a place of deep healing.........






For me........so much healing has happened..........between us, of us, around us, for us......I feel so blessed to know her.........

And then I had my 'meeting'.......

And looked up to where ............










I used to live................





and realized..........



I don't live there anymore...........

Thank God.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Inspiration amongst the chaos.........

As I was scurrying around.......from house to car.........car to house.........I kept noticing these.......







Tiny Spring Helicoptors.........








and they reminded me of this image in one of my favorite art books........














Calder Jewelry......





And then as I was looking at packing up my inspiration board.....

I noticed this.........


Always a 'discussion' in 'art' SKOOL.


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Circle...........

I am becoming a tiny bit familiar with this concept of Pinterest.....

From time to time I see wonderful quotes and photos on other blogs and the authors re-post them.....honoring the original source.......and I'm too busy to figure out all of that.........but must post this here.....because it is so fitting my journey..........

as I am completing the circle..........

Source: None via Lani on Pinterest