Resolve...........

It's time to let go of a dear dear friend.............

Designed and built by a dear dear friend......







I am filled with melancholy to let her go.........



In hopes someone will adopt her............

Happy Easter!

Since I'm not dying eggs..........

with the 'bad girls'





I'm doing this.............

Sweet Jesus........

 and from this.........

comes........

this..............



It's all worth the effort...........

Happy Easter.......

Be the Love You Are...........

ox

More on Happiness.........

The work of Alex Koplin found here................

I stumbled on this lovely diagram (rendered in my favorite colour) while surfing for decluttering tips and 'mantras' and found some here.........and make sure to scroll down and watch and listen to Steve Job's Stanford Commencement Speech........I almost posted it several weeks ago.......so worth the time to listen.......or just make it easy and go here .....really if you have not heard it.........please do

No more apologies............

I attended an art opening last night and met the husband of a friend there.............he asked what I did, knowing I was an artist...... and I looked at my friend for relief, who knows how I struggle with that question.......I usually look like a 'deer in headlights' when asked that......

I said that was 'difficult to answer' because I 'do' so many different things........and started to list them......and he said "That's GREAT!.......I love to see how artist's work in different mediums........"  and then he went off on a tangent describing how boring the 'art fairs' are with each artist having a booth full of the same thing with slight variations on the theme.......He said, for him, they were so easy to pass by..........He said he would glance in and think "nope" don't like that........"nope" don't like that.....

His wife (also an artist) and I proceeded to explain how galleries and art fairs "like" and have set things up that way.  "They need the 'box' to put the artist in to 'sell' things", we explained......."it makes it neat and tidy for all.   Printmaking, Painting, Mixed Media, Fiber, 3D.....(and even subcategories of those!)........makes it easier for the 'general' public to understand."

Then the 'guy'.........all revved up now.....began to talk about all the Masters and how they worked in different media..........and my friend explained, that 'yes'......perhaps the jurors now were 'old school' and he said "NO" the "Masters" were "Old School" and we needed to get back to THAT.

Then I told the story of how I once was low on 'cohesive work' (having recently become excited about a new printmaking technique) for a prestigious art fair in Colorado and when a juror came into my booth........she put her nose in the air and declared that she did not know what I was 'doing' and that my work was "all over the place"..........In truth it 'was'......(and was not the first time someone did not understand my expression).......however it did not diminish the interest in it......nor the fact that it was really nice..........and all of it well received........but in the end, her comment haunted me......as those kinds of judgements DO........we tend to forget all the good remarks and focus the on the few negative utterances....

And along this vein..........I was recently talking to a friend who lives in a tiny town in New Mexico and I was lamenting that I am "all over the place" (as it had become my 'by' line) in my artistic endeavors.......and she said "GOOD, that will serve you well out here!"

So, as I ponder my purge...........I am valuing my path as an artist.........I have worked through many stages with passion........I do not dabble...........and I move quickly........

I am a fiber artist at my core.....as everything I do has it's basis in texture......

My path...........

I was a curious kid.....with a passion for getting things down and working with my hands in all ways ........I began to hone my craft in fibers when I was in my early 20's.............where I entered college with a firm foundation in design and drawing......Before that I loved feeling clay squish between my fingers........then felt the same sensation as I began to beat pulp to make Paper......... The squishing of fiberous pulp and slippery cellulose excited my senses.......and being with all the paper people.....the progression was naturally to Printmaking.......which led to Encaustic, which is similar to working a printing plate.....and I LOVE wax!........which.......after a move.......reignited my love and passion for Japanese Paper and then the quest to make a 'box' led me to Bookbinding.........and subsequently meeting up with fiber folk again.....as what is a Book?......but working with twine and paper and fabric (and more). My passion led me full circle, back to that......and nature, my soul........... then printing with leaves....brought me back to my passion for all things 'natural'.......and suddenly when I tried to escape it all.......I walked into the metal studio of a friend.........and alchemy embraced me.........once again........

What can I say?  I just love it all.  And embrace it all........and all of it.......the marking, the dying, the stitching, the twining, the heat, the squishing....the squirting......the printing.........the scratching.....the sifting...the lifting.......the sanding, the building.......the cutting.........the designing........the balance..........the soul........the passion.......all excite me.

I have been fortunate to study with some amazing teachers.........and am a sponge to it all.........

As of today..........I offer no more apologies............for not fitting into.........

The Box.

The next phase.........

Since I was the eldest in a clan with 5 kids.......a depressed mom (sorry Mom) and an absent narcissistic father (sorry Dad)....and throw in a lot of alcohol......I did a lot of hiding.   It was pretty crazy in my house growing up...and never feeling like I 'fit in' and yet felt held responsible for the rest.....well, I just wanted to be out of it.......and away from.........the chaos and crazy......

And guess what?

I am.

A life long quest for sanity and peace has finally been bestowed upon me.

I had to sit long enough for the ringing in my ears to stop to realize that.

And that the little bit of chaos that remains in my life........is the remainder of my self induced quest to make everything all right for everyone else........as my focus was on 'them'......and never me......or at least I thought if I could make all of 'them' OK, Happy and Well....... then I would be OK and perhaps not so 'alone'.

So I still have some work to do.........for me.

Right now my physical 'chaos' is my studio and all the stuff I brought with me from the 'big' house that does not serve me anymore..........

As I just went through a giant purge last summer......of really great stuff I might add.......another one is looming.....and  today, I see it as manageable........where yesterday it was overwhelming.......and hopefully this feeling will stay with me until the job is done........

There are many tips on purging.......believe me, I think I've heard them all.......the latest and greatest is to ask myself......."Do I love this?, Do I use this?"..........and now I believe I will ask "Does this serve me?"..........as in 'Serve' me in my life?.........'Serve' my purpose?........'Serve' my need for Beauty and Order?............'Serve' my creative practice........?

It's been 9 months (oooooooooo I love that metaphor!) since I moved to this smaller dwelling.....I do believe I should be able to make some decisions using that criteria........

Thoughts on moving forward...........

I have been sitting still for a long time.......waiting......and this is after a period of actually making decisions.....moving forward.....and saying "yes" to most things that came my way...........and now again.......I am gleaning my next "right action"........seems I must get 'off the fence' as the Universe does not seem to want me to be 'comfortable' for now, or in this way..........It's just that I perceive my finances dwindling......which does not surprise me since I live a 'comfortable' life......and have not adjusted it enough, or paid enough attention to what has been happening to and around me.........i.e....changing 'life' situation, the economy, the new world birthing......etc..........

Some of us are always aware of that stuff......worried.....planning.....or the opposite.......dulling their senses, ignoring reality, keeping their heads in the sand........I think I have done all of that at various times.......but lately I am just being quiet.......surrounding myself with very few people to bounce ideas off of......trying to realize when some of them are scaring me with their own 'projections' of fear...........again........I am filled with Trust.....in the Universe......but realize I must make some decisions soon.

Some of my thoughts are these.............

1)  I have been spending a lot of time looking 'outward' for answers.  Actually this is the story of my life,
     what 'I do'.  I must manage it right now.  Look within for the answers that are there for me.
      I know they are there and I know how to mine for them.  'Mine' as in searching for jewels in a cave. I  
      just need to be quiet to hear the 'small still voices' at the same time asking them to 'speak up'........
      I'm guessing this is Universal to most of us........and worth saying again and again......

2)  I am thinking about going on a technology fast.  I've done this before.  Currently I am not hooked up
     to cable.....or any kind of TV reception......I use mine for the occasional movie rental......and I don't
     read the paper......but confess to looking at a few blurbs on the Yahoo! home page.....but generally I
     am unaffected by the fear that permeates the airwaves.......I have found that my system does not
     tolerate it well.  It actually makes me crazy.  I used to be a junkie to it all.  Really.....I was immersed
     in it......but I had to cut it out.....and I am making a really short story long.  The latest thing my friends
     seem to be addicted to......and I am guilty of late,  is the influx of 2012 'Healing the Earth' and
     'Ascension' information.  All important to me.....however the influx of information is overwhelming.
     And all of it coming from 'Masters'........seems to be the buzz word.........
     And is starting to make me wonder about it all.  Everyone seems to have an agenda.  I'm not sure
     their's is the same as mine.  So yeah.  Have to cut that out too.  As to 'Awakening to my Soul's
     Purpose'.........well, I think I'm going to have to consult my Soul on that......And I think this is just
     a continuation of.......... thought #1.

Loose Ends...........

I see it's been quite a while since I've posted..........why?  I do keep asking myself........why?...........do I not seem to have some witty thing to show or tell..........

What have I been doing with my Self?

1) making things........still burning the little copper vessels.....up to 50......of 100......oh, no I'm back to 49
    as my sweet elderly neighbor Rose wanted to buy one of them this morning.......dear dear dear
    Rose, I could not say "no"........really because it's nice to sell work and the money was to 'Pay the
    Shaman' that chanelled the thing........very nice way to start the day.....I digress......and I learned how
    to make hand pulled earwires for some dangles I made from steel and enamel........and in addition to
    making things........I'm pondering how to display them (the vessels)......
    ........oh, and I framed the  lovely prints from OZ in dark 'faux' wood frames I purchased from
    IKEA for $19 each.........and they turned out quite nicely if I do say so......

2) working on being alone............which makes things very quiet and quiet attracts quiet.........

3) continuing the inner work for the Jean Houston Seminar........1 more week to go and an eternity.......
    and listening to waaaaaayyyyyyy too many Deepak Chopra cd's........and more sessions on the 'I
     AM' all this contributing to even more quiet and reflection.......perhaps I'm in a trance again.......

4) buying my car.....yippee......they even deemed me honorable enough to finance it!  A boost for my
    self esteem and sense of independence........I call my car Shirley.......she is my Temple!

5) trying to settle a long long long long divorce thing.........ugh.......perhaps that's it.........why I have no
     energy left for blogging........or much else.......

6) Then there is the age ol' time consuming pondering of the next step........to continue the lease on my
     little abode and studio.........or to do a giant purge in the next month or so......and put it all in storage
     and become itinerant.

Yes............I've been busy with other things...........and feel I am at a crossroads with so many friends in kind.........which way will we turn?   All indications are the answer is within........and under my nose.  So I will stay patient........and trust the process...........